Its  been ages since the last time I was on here.. but alot has definitely happened! I guess when you love a person, you just love them.. & even though they've hurt you in such way you think you can't forgive them for, you do so.. But the negative part of it nis that you're damaged - damaged forever, because you've put all your trust and faith to that one person.. and when you get hurt everything suddenly crumbles, your life crumbles, you start asking yourself what was wrong with you & how could I have prevented this.. but it's not you! It isn't your fault you've been cheated on.. You just have to learn how to be smarter, wiser.. You've got to stand up for yourself and be stronger! I guess for me, I grew to be stronger, and along with it I became bitter. I grew to really hate who I've become. I am more bitchier than ever, I nag, I'm constantly angry at little things he does.. But, I always try and remember that I gave him another chance to be with me, that I should try & let it go.. but how ? how do I let something soo painful let it go like that ? He doesn't have the right to punish me for nothing.. I was so hurt! I cried more than I should.. & It's crazy to think that it's easy for me to let things go just like that! Maybe, I'm stubborn? or just hard-headed? whatever it is.. I know I've got to allow it to let go, because I do love him.. & I want to stay with him.. But, why does it kill me everytime ? Why do I still hurt and cry at times ? Sometimes I feel as if I'm not good enough for anyone, that it's always my fault, Myabe I'm just being too hard on myself.. But regardless, I'm a heartbroken in progress.. Trying to do everything at once.. Forgiving myself, my boyfriend in order to really work things out with him.. I love him so much, I know someday I'll learn to let all the pain & hurt he's put me through.

He told me to move on, where do I go..